Harry is doing WHAT!
by TeamEdwardMasen
Summary: Harry has been looking repeatedly at his watch for the last hour. What is he waiting for? Hermione is determined to find out. Why is Harry meeting with Snape? On her quest to find the truth she brings with her Ron and... Draco, surprisingly enough. But what they are about to find out is more horrifying and mindblowing than they could have ever imagined.


**DISCLAIMER****: Voldemort did not redeem himself in the last book of Harry Potter, obviously I do not own Harry Potter****  
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AN: I have rated the story T but I'm not really sure about the rating. Well if you don't want to read about sexual themes then I suggest that you don't read this story ;)**

Harry, Hermione and Ron were sitting in the Gryffindor common room. Ron and Hermione were bickering as usual, while Harry sat next to them and watched them with amusement. Harry's gaze shifted between looking at his best friends and the worn out clock that was draped nicely around his wrist. He had been going through this routine for the last hour and Hermione was starting to notice. She shifted her attention to Harry as he once again looked at his watch. She watched him discretely as he went through the routine once again. Her curiosity became too much. She gave into the voice in her head that was pleading with her to ask Harry what was going on.

"What are you waiting for, Harry?" Hermione asked him inquiringly. Harry looked as if he had been lost in thought and had been surprised to be addressed. He realized he had been caught.

"Err...No, I, ehm…" he started. Not knowing what he was going to tell her. Silence stretched between the two as Harry searched for the right words to explain what was happening. Ron had been watching Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil coming down the stairs from the girls' dormitories. He became aware of the oppressing silence that had decided to grace them with its presence and turned to Harry and Hermione who seemed to be having a staring contest of sorts. Before he could ask them what was going on Harry decided to answer Hermione's question.

"You see I have a meeting with Professor Snape-"All Ron needed to hear was the name "Snape" and terror and alarm bells would go off in his head.

"SNAPE?" Ron squealed and interrupted Harry before he was able to finish his explanation.

"Yes, Snape," Harry stated, looking very amused at Ron's fierce reaction. Ron huffed at Harry.

"But why would Snape want to talk to _you_? No offense Harry, but he hates you" Ron said incredulously. Not understanding what the evil bat wanted with his best friend.

"I was wondering about that as well. But apparently he wants to give me lessons in potion making. Something about saving the class from disastrous explosions or something like that" Harry explained.

Normal people wouldn't notice. And if they did notice they wouldn't think much of it. But Hermione was not a normal person; she was Harry's best friend. And she knew that when Harry thrummed his fingers on his knees as he was doing right now, he was lying. It was a nervous habit that she had noticed over the years, but never actually commented on.

Hermione looked at Harry suspiciously. Wondering what it he was lying about. She swore that she would find out.

"Wouldn't it make more sense that Snape taught Neville instead of you. Honestly Harry, you aren't _that_ bad at potions. There is something fishy about this. Ron and I can come with you and-" Hermione said before she was interrupted by Harry.

"NO, no, no. You don't need to do that." Harry said hastily. A little _too_ hastily.

Hermione raised an eyebrow at him. What was going on?

"Err… What I meant to say was that I'm sure I will be fine. I mean it's only Snape, right" Harry tried to repair the damage that his fierce reaction had caused. It almost worked. Ron seemed to believe him, but Hermione only looked more suspicious than before.

"Oh, look, it's time to go. I guess I'll see you guys later" Harry said before rushing out of the common room.

Hermione turned slowly to Ron.

"Something is not right here," she said looking pointedly at Ron.

"Huh," said Ron stupidly. He had no idea what Hermione was talking about.

"Oh, Ron isn't it obvious," said Hermione in an exasperated voice. When was she not exasperated with Ron she thought absently.

"What's obvious," asked Ron.

Hermione sighed heavily before she started explaining. "Well, Harry has been looking at his watch for the last hour. There is obviously something important that is about to happen. But he didn't tell us what it was. Harry always tells us when Dumbledore calls him to his office. Why wouldn't he tell us what he was doing now? He also seemed very reluctant to tell us what he was going to do, like it was a secret. And I _know_ that he was lying at some point in our conversation. And when I offered that we come with him he didn't want us to." Hermione explained this as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Which it probably was, for everybody but Ron Weasley.

"So, what are we going to do," asked Ron.

"Why, we follow him of course," said Hermione, determined to solve the mystery.

"Follow him," said Ron uncertainly fidgeting in the chair where he was seated.

"I don't know, Hermione. I don't think Harry would appreciate that we spy on him. Whatever he is doing it is his business."

"But Ron, what if Harry is in trouble," Hermione said worriedly. Trouble followed Harry wherever he went. She was sure that tonight was no exception.

"Oh, alright then. I guess you have a point. At least when you put it that way, " said Ron. They both rose from the comfy chairs where they sat and set off towards Snape's classroom.

They were walking down one of the halls in the dungeons when they stumbled into Draco Malfoy.

"Weasel, Mudblood" sneered Malfoy, and looked at them with unveiled disgust.

"Shut up, Malfoy," was Ron's intelligent comeback.

"What are pathetic Gryffindors such as yourselves doing in the dungeons?" drawled Malfoy.

"That is none of your business" said Hermione tersely, and made a move to walk past him. Draco sneered at her but let them go. As he watched the backs of the two Gryffindors walk down the corridor he felt his curiosity grow. And couldn't help but follow them down the hallway. When they finally came to a stop, he was surprised to see that they were standing outside of the slightly ajar door to the potion classroom. They were probably planning to steal potion ingredients. He knew how much some of the ingredients cost. His godfather would be furious if he lost any of the rare and almost unaffordable ones. He stepped out of the shadows where he had hidden himself from their sight, ready to address them. They turned towards him as they sensed his presence and looked ready to hex him for following them. The soon to be duel was however ended before it could start when a voice sounded from within the potions classroom. The two Gryffindors and the Slytherin stepped closer to the door in order to hear what was being said.

"I was surprised by your offer Professor" they heard Harry's voice from inside the classroom. He sounded unsure. It sounded as if what the professor had offered was unbelievable and too good to be true.

"Please call me Snape, but only for tonight. What we are about to do requires trust and I believe we shall leave all hostility behind us. The use of such a title as professor will seem rather…" Snape seemed at a loss for words_. Well that has to be a first_ thought Ron amusedly. Harry seemed to understand what Snape was talking about and quickly replied.

"Then please call me, Harry" Draco's eyes widened at the friendly manner in which the two were speaking to each other.

"But only for tonight" Harry added. His voice held amusement and Draco could imagine that Potter was smirking impishly at this point. Draco heard Severus grumble, but his voice was too low to be heard. Whatever he said had Potter spluttering something incomprehensible.

"Will it hurt when- when you e-enter inside me," They heard Harry ask nervously. The eavesdroppers outside nearly fainted at the possibilities of what that sentence could mean.

"No, I shall be swift. You will not feel any pain at all. I shall try to make this as comfortable possible for you" Hermione's eyes were wide and she felt her jaw drop. What on earth was going on? It sounded like Harry and Snape were about to… but that could not possibly be true. Snape was a teacher and Harry was a student. Snape may have been a nasty teacher, but he would never do something like that. It went completely against the school rules. He would be fired before he could say "innocent" if anybody found out that he had had an affair with one of his students. And they hated each other; they couldn't stand the sight of each other. The thought of Harry and Snape together was just downright _wrong_.

Silence stretched between Snape and Harry.

"Are you ready?" Snape asked.

"Yes.. Wait! I am sorry but-" they heard Harry say nervously.

"Go on" Snape said encouragingly.

"Have you done this before, I mean, is there anyone other than I that you have tried to do this to?"

Oh, god, Oh GOD! He was not supposed to hear this. His godfather would kill him if he realized that Draco was eavesdropping outside while he was about to… Draco shuddered. Who would want to do _that _with Potter anyway? All this years his godfather had talked about how Potter was such an imbecile, when he had actually wanted to… Draco shuddered at the thought of it.

A deep chuckle swept through the room.

"Ah, yes Harry, one can say that I am _quite_ experienced" Ron shuddered at the mental pictures his mind conjured for him. Never had he wanted to think about his professor's sex-life.

"Oh" said Harry encouragingly. Why Harry wanted to hear of Snape's sexual experiences went far beyond Ron's levels of comprehension.

"I started practicing by the time I went to Hogwarts, actually." _What?_ Thought Hermione. She rarely thought about others' appearances, but even she knew that Snape wasn't a very attractive person. She couldn't imagine that he was very good at anything else than potions.

"Who did you-?" Harry started. Ron wasn't sure if he wanted to know. No, in fact he didn't want to know at all.

"The first years" Snape answered, knowing what Harry was about to ask.  
Ron choked on the air he was breathing in, Hermione stumbled where she stood and Draco who always wore a mask of indifference stood mouth agape at what his godfather had just admitted to.

"The first years… why?" said Harry not seeming very afflicted by what Snape had just said.

"They were weak minded, and easy to make them agree that I practiced with them. Of course I obliviated them afterwards" Ron made a gurgling sound in the back of his throat.

"Why am I not surprised" Harry chuckled.  
_He chuckled, CHUCKLED! _ Thought Hermione. What was happening to Harry? Hermione was floored by Harry's lack of response. Snape, _Professor _Snape had been raping first years! How absolutely horrible! And all Harry did was chuckle. They said that love makes blind. Maybe there was some truth in that phrase.

"We are getting off tracks, Harry."

Draco was surprised that Severus had taken up Potter's offer to use his first name.

"Yes, let's continue where we left off" Harry replied.

"No regrets, right" Severus said giving Harry a last chance to back out.

"No regrets" Harry said confidently.

"I will count down to one... three…two…one" What on earth? Who counts down to one when they are about to- Malfoy was not allowed to finish his train of thought, he was interrupted by a very loud;

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaah-" grunted Harry in pleasure.

Ron dry heaved. Hermione panicked.

"Oh god, that feels gooood!" Harry moaned.

"Ron, Draco. We should get out of here before we get caught" Hermione shrieked and was panicking so much that she didn't even realize that she had used Malfoy's first name. Ron and Draco were however rooted to the floor and seemed incapable of moving away.

"I told you that I knew what I was doing" They heard Snape say smugly.

Harry's only reply was several moans. This was answered by heavy breathing from Snape.

Ron felt sick to his stomach. Yet there was some kind of horrifying fascination that made his body unable to move away. After what seemed like hours, but was only a couple of minutes of moaning and heavy breathing, the incriminating sound slowly ebbed away into silence.

"I didn't know that it would feel that good, I am glad that I accepted your offer" said Harry after the silence was beginning to become awkward.

"Likewise" Snape agreed

"You were good, I believe that if we continue this, we'll make a man out of you yet" said Snape his voice sounded amused. But the eavesdroppers couldn't know if he was serious or joking because they couldn't see his face. But the thought of Snape making a joke was to unbelievable to even consider for more than half a second.

"Alright then, I'll come next Saturday."

"That is acceptable, but do not tell your friends about our _meetings_" said Snape seriously.

"Of course not," answered Harry.

Hermione, Ron and Draco heard the sound of feet shuffling towards the door, it was now or never. Silently agreeing that Snape would kill them if they were caught they all ran as fast as they could back to their dormitories, scarred for life.

Inside Harry rose from his chair unaware that his friends and his rival had been listening to Snape and himself. He shook Snape's hand and thanked him. He was happy that he had taken up Snape's offer He had been surprised of course. Snape had been very friendly when it was only the two of them. He was even so skilled that he had felt pleasure, instead of the usual pain. He shuddered when he thought about when Voldemort had entered inside of him. That had been the most horrifying experience he had ever been through. He wanted to vomit when he thought about it. Harry sighed happily at his luck. It wasn't every day you got occlumency lessons after all.

**AN: Okay so this was kind of a spur of the moment kind of fic. I thought about writing it when I read a story where Dumbledore was about to enter Harry's mind with the use of legilimency in ****order to train Harry to occlude his mind. And then Harry says. Will it hurt when you enter me? And my dirty mind couldn't help but realize how suggestive that question sounded. So I just HAD to make a short story out of it. ****  
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****So, well****,**** yeah. If there is som****ething about the story you don't understand I suggest that you read through the story again. It will make sense now that you know that Harry and Snape are actually having lessons in occlumency. XD If you have any other questions or found something that did****n't make sense PM me ;D****  
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****Yeah so I hope you enjoyed this little one-shot and I apologize for all my faults in grammar. English is not my ****mother tongue**** but I try as much as I can to make it good. Please leave a review if you find some really bad mistakes in ****grammar :D****  
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****Sorry to all the Harry/Snape fans out there who hoped that this was a Harry/Snape Slash fic.****  
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****Sooooooo, please review XD**


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